In a thread below, Mr Trellis of North Epsom questions whether I am Professor David
I did a cursory search to find the answer to this question, and found the following
sample of the prof’s work.
'The problem is you can only have a "Diana monarchy" if you have a monarch who is
a celebrity or at least a bit sensational', says constitutional historian professor
David Starkey. 'But do we really want a head of state or a consort like Diana who
was reported as having her head stuck down the lavatory one minute and having an
upper colonic lavage the next? Is that really an appropriate image? I don't think
we are going to get the Queen talking openly about her battle with thrush, although
it's hard to know; news is breaking all the time.'
This in turn caused me to pursue the question of Liz’s battles with feathered vertebrates,
and I asked her what her position was with regard to being candid in this area. “I
am quite ambivalent about it, sweetie,” she confided, “it is well known to students
of the monarchy that I have not always enjoyed cordial relations with the airborne
visitors to my gardens ever since one of the corgis was lifted from the Pyotr Kropotkin
garden at Windsor by an overfed starling, but I really don’t think that these tales
are of great interest to the general public, even the most fawning of them”. What
might be of passing interest is the fact that since his television career declined,
Noel Edmonds has been employed as the royal bird-scarer at Sandringham. He can be
seen of a morning running round the lawns waving his arms and making strange noises.
“Philip finds it most amusing”, she says, “he can watch for hours, which is a great
relief to all of us who try to limit his capacity for mischief. I don’t have the
heart to tell him that as soon as we have Edward trained, he will replace Mr Edmonds.
I suppose that when that happens Philip will get bored again, as he can’t stand looking
at Eddie for more than five minutes, and will take to aggravating Charley again by
trying to exterminate endangered species.”
So that answers the question about the queen and the quails. As for the professor,
I think I will let you draw your own conclusions. I am rather taken by his style,
but am disappointed by his lack of imagination. If he thinks that the most inappropriate
image of Di is that of her poncing about St James palace with a rubber tube protruding
from her arse, then he is no match for me.
Mrs T of North Island said...
There's bird sub-text here isn't there? Thrushes....starlings...I'm going to get
it in a moment...
Tuesday, August 09, 2005 5:45:00 AM
Mark Gamon said...
Nasty flappy things.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005 10:02:00 AM
As Philip said to Charles: 'Endangered species? Look no further than the mirror,
my boy'. As for Sir Noel, were the strange noises 'Blobby Blobby Blobby'?
Tuesday, August 09, 2005 1:28:00 PM
The plaintive, haunting song of the thrush is heard far less often in our towns and
countryside. We are also hearing less of Philip's interesting remarks about ethnic
minorities - is he in danger of becoming extinct?
Um, thank you for the unexpected link. I almost fell off my perch.