Another Official Site of
The Talke Pits Development Company
Another Official Site of
The Talke Pits Development Company
The web site of the witty, urbane and handsome Ken Phillips

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Sir

I read with interest in your latest edition the story of the problems with the hedgerows in Kingsley damaging lorries passing through the village, and the need for Kingsley Parish Council to trim these hedges. While supporting this action in principle, I must protest that it does not go far enough.
Lorries are part of our national heritage, and it behoves us all to ensure that this essential, threatened part of our environment is protected and encouraged by every means possible.

I, for one, like nothing better than to throw open my windows in the morning to hear the sweet warblings of diesel song, and breathe in the enchanting fragrance of carbon monoxide.

Too often, these days, these delights are obscured by pollutant bird song, and the noxious fumes of honeysuckle and jasmine, so prevalent in this area.
Can I suggest that Kingsley Parish Council adopt the following action points for the sake of our environment:-

1)
The replacement of hedgerows by walls. This will not only protect our lorries, but also rid the village of the current obscenely uneven aspect.
2)
Create a monthly ozone-hole day. By use of CFC laden aerosol paint sprayers, the newly constructed walls could be decorated. The day could culminate in a fridge bonfire.
3)
Campaign for Kingsley as the site for London’s third airport.
4)
Rid the area of noisy birds and wildfowl.
5)
Campaign for the construction of the much-needed East Worldham to Sleaford eight lane freeway. This will, of course, mean removing the unsightly hill at East Worldham. Not before time. Try as I might, I have never been able to exceed 85 miles per hour going up the hill, and have often been impeded by pedestrians crossing the road. Surely to goodness, in a village like East Worldham, one side of the road is much the same as the other; people should make up their minds which side of the road they prefer and stick to it.
6)
Solve the problem on the Oakhanger to Kingsley road. I have lived in the area for five years, and there is still a sign warning of frogs on the road. Can nothing be done to exterminate these malevolent creatures?

Myopic as they may be, Kingsley Parish Council are not alone in their view of the environment. Can I extend my suggestions beyond the parochial?
Frensham Pond should be tarmaced over and used as a lorry park.

That hideous eyesore, the Devil’s Punchbowl, should have long ago been used as a landfill site.

If anyone can provide me with a dwelling that spans, or is in the central reservation of a motorway, I would be very happy to convert my current dwelling into a museum of poisonous gases.
Letter to the Alton Herald
9th October 1992
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